Waking up has been a wild, rewarding, and continuously fascinating journey. The shift into expanded awareness started abruptly in 2014 when a string of synchronicities caught my attention. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I look back at that period as the time when my spiritual alarm clock began ringing. Those events awoke a curiosity that gradually grew into an obsession about common existential questions, mostly about life, death, consciousness, free will, the universe, and divine intelligence. Within months, I fell into an existential identity crisis.
Two mystical experiences occurred within the first year that helped reveal the illusion of separation. As is quite common during the early stages of a spiritual awakening, I spent much of my time desperately seeking answers to all my burning questions about life while clinging to a naive expectation that it was possible to know and understand everything if I searched long and hard enough. This search, which lasted over four years, eventually became exhausting. I finally realized I was running around in circles, getting no closer to any answers, and was missing out on the opportunity to experience inner peace and joy that can only be found when we are willing to surrender to the mysteries of life. The searching and seeking lost its importance and intensity when I was finally ready to let go. Around that same time, I discovered the nondual philosophy of Advaita Vedanta, which further deepened the sense of peace and acceptance of life as it is in this moment without the need or desire for elaborate explanations and concrete answers.
Every day I find myself surrendering more to the mystery and uncertainty of life. Many illusions have fallen away. The awakening process still presents challenges, though nothing is quite so dramatic anymore. It has evolved into a much more fascinating and exciting adventure due to a more accepting and expanded perspective. I understand how difficult, confusing, and lonely waking up can seem in the beginning, though, and that is what initially motivated me to create this blog. My views and perceptions shift over time, so not everything I wrote in the past is my truth today. Still, whatever you come across on here, maybe it will be helpful and speak to you in some way.
Some of my favorite spiritual teachers include Unmani, Mooji, Nirmala, Alan Watts, Osho, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Jeff Foster, and Gangaji.
Awaken from the Dream 
I am so glad I found you! You are speaking my language:-). I’ll be back for more!
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Thanks! Glad you found me, too! I look forward to learning more about you and your journey š
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I nominated you for the Liebster Award. Participation is optional. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your blog! You can read about it here: http://destinationenlightenment.com/2015/08/30/liebster-award/
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Thank you! I’m flattered that I was nominated š I never figured out how awards worked on my old blog, but I’ll definitely attempt to figure it out this time.
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You deserve it!
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i love your blog very much and i’m happy that i ‘ve found you. thank you for all your precious work ā¤ ā¤ ā¤
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Aww, thank you so much for all the compliments! ā¤ It is wonderful to find other like-minded people in the blogosphere.
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Really important words! I have had a similar path, and look forward to following yours š RJ
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Thank you š I look forward to learning more about you and your path, as well.
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Hey Manda…Great blog site! I see you just signed up at my old site Embracing your soul but I have to tell you I am getting ready to put that blog to bed. I have my main blog I do that you may want to check out instead. I blog when I can but times are busy right now. Would love to have you there with us š take care and thanks for stopping by…Blessings….VK
https://oneworldmetamorphosis.wordpress.com
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Thanks! I’ll definitely follow your other blog and explore it soon. Thanks for following me in return š
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Wonderful to meet you Manda and yes our awakening process can often take several events to shake us awake.. š and when I found out about the ‘Dark side’ It took some digesting, but over the years more and more proof has been given to show us as you say how horrible the Truth can really be..
I hope to get to explore more of your blog very soon..
Love and Lighr
Sue <2
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Thank you, Sue, for following me and dropping by to leave a comment here š I never knew that discovering the dark side was going to lead me to discover the light side, but I’m so glad it worked out that way. Knowing just how dark the dark side really is can be overwhelming to our gentle, loving hearts, but recognizing our inner power and brilliance will assist us all in getting through this. I look forward to exploring more of your blog soon, as well š
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Like wise, and there are many of us awakening to shower their light upon such darkness.. even if at first we can not see it.. š have faith Love will overcome..
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That should read Love and Light ā¤ š
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Hi Manda, I also want to say I’m glad we found each other. There’s a lot of things you say that I can relate to and with everything else I certainly agree.
I agree that walking the path to spiritual (and other) awakening could be a lonely one, and that the internet and especially the blogosphere provides the chance to express ourselves freely and connect with others. Lifting the veil and looking for the truth about our world is something I’m also interested in, and I am convince nothing was meant to be what it is now for humanity. This scenario was created and is sustained by a bunch of people, and is not what the rest of us want. The awakening for this truth is a collective process but I believe that by awakening to our own truth we will eventually realise we’ve been caught into a trap, and we’ll break out of there soon.
I can totally relate to the process of your spiritual awakening. I’m sorry you’ve lost your brother, I too lost my sister last year. That has certainly led me to take some steps towards realising myself, and I’m still in that process.
Thank you for putting this blog together, every topic that you mention is something I’m also inetersted in. I look forward to reading more and connecting further with you, Vilina
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Hi Vilina,
Thanks so much for commenting here! I’m happy to hear that you also have a desire to lift the veils and look for the truth. So many people want to turn their heads away from truth to avoid facing the pain and sadness that occurs when one finally sees all the dark things going on, but that approach isn’t helping humanity! Thank you for being a brave soul who would rather embrace truth. And that’s right, this current situation we’re in now has been manipulated by a group who are not concerned with the well-being of humanity. I think we can put a halt to some of it if more people take personal responsibility for learning and thinking critically about what is going on in the world and what actions they can take to make this a better place.
For me, the loss of a sibling has required me to re-examine the past and the future and to confront my challenges with attachment. I’m sure each person is presented with unique challenges as they grieve a significant loss, and I hope whatever challenges you have been presented with since the passing of your sister will help you grow and transform.
I’m glad you found my blog, and I, too, look forward to getting to know you better š
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Hello,
i just read your thoughts about trying to awakening others, since i am facing a big problem here and big resistance.i don’t know if i should stop speaking the truth around people (who used to be very close to me) because they are not ready and i can feel that they don’t enjoy it.
BUT when i look at them i feel like i need to do something to make them see what i am seeing,i always try to search for a light way to spread the word but even this sounds weird for them.
from the other side, when i look back at my journey, i realize that it cant be happen,i can’t make someone wake up just by telling him the truth,because the truth exists already in his\her subconscious mind for a long long time(that’s what he think). it took me so many days and nights,so many researches and still going on,its a painful journey,i challenged myself every single day. I remember there is a time when i have reached a point during this journey and looked back at my old life, i saw how sleepy , far from the truth and deceptive i was.and it a was painful feeling.Just realizing that you spent 24 years in that state made feel depressed for a while.i knew at this point that there is no going back. And what made feel more afraid is knowing that my friends, family and all my entourage will change because they can’t see the truth.I thought that i just can’t tell a man, or a woman that all his\her entire 51 years were a lie.Even if they accept it,they will be shocked to a level where, i think it will lead them to sever depression.not everyone is strong, i wasn’t strong,but i think what helped me to reach this level is because i have experienced both types of awakening(mentioned in your article) at the same time.i was absorbing positive energy from my spiritual awakening and this helped and still do to continue my journey of the Body and Mind awakening.In other words,in my spiritual awakening i found GOD and JESUS, i didn’t know what the bible say at that point.
For a 24 years old man it is more flexible, more “ITS BETTER TO SPEND THE NEXT 40 YEARS AWAKEN THANK LOST” to start this journey ,
but don’t you think it is better for a 51 years old human being to stay asleep?
what about a friend who is ready to accept what you say, it’s a big responsibility,changing someones mind,someones belief system,it may lead them to something bad if they are not strong enough.once awaken there is no go back.
I have so many question, i am trying to imagine myself at the age of 35 or 40, i can’t see anything,before this journey it was clear what my life would be like in the next 10 years,not anymore.Exciting yes,but scary.
BEST REGARDS
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Chris,
Thank you for commenting. And let me just say, wow, I understand your dilemma so well. In fact, I have been having thoughts this week extremely similar to yours.
I wish I could tell you that I have all the answers about helping others to awaken, but it’s complicated, and I can tell that you also recognize just how complicated it is.
First of all, yes, awakening on the mental level can be quite painful and scary. I still struggle to accept all that I know now. It is hard, almost impossible, not to feel depressed about all the lies and corruption. You may have gotten upset after you realized what is going on, but you are still strong. Any person who cares about humanity and our future would react this way. In my opinion, you are having a normal, healthy reaction to living in an insane world.
Whether someone is 21 or 51, I think waking up is worth experiencing. Someone who is currently 51 could live to be 90 years old. That means they have almost 40 years ahead that they could be living much differently, much more authentically, and maybe even more healthily if they discovered certain truths. People deserve to live as authentically as possible, no matter what their age is. Yes, they will probably experience the shock and depression that we’ve been experiencing, but they can eventually learn to accept it and gain the confidence to steer their life in a new direction if they feel unsatisfied with their current situation.
Resistance from others is so common. Sometimes, it feels like there is no solution if someone’s mind is closed off to everything you say. If most people you know react that way, I think there are two decent solutions. Either avoid discussing these things with them, or find a new group of friends who are open-minded and interested in your ideas. I have gotten to the point where I will throw one or two ideas out there. If the person does not show interest or curiosity in what I said, I don’t push it any further. It seems like many people don’t get satisfaction out of learning about these things, and I don’t think we can force it on them. People are either curious, or they’re not.
For those who are curious and receptive to what you say, I suggest giving them a warning beforehand about how these things might affect them. If I know that someone already struggles with depression, I try to be careful not to push them into the super dark stuff. I initially try to talk about something interesting, like UFOs, or something that might be helpful for them, like natural cures, meditation, or near-death experiences. My hope is that they will enjoy what they have learned and start doing their own research into similar topics. I nudge them a little into a particular topic instead of trying to tell them too many things all at once.
And you’re right, it is a big responsibility to be the person who is someone’s catalyst for awakening. They are going to have to confront some challenging things when it happens for them, and they might become severely depressed like you mentioned, but their depression is not your fault. The depression they feel is a signal to them that things could be different. We cannot blame our depression on anyone. If we don’t like the way things are, we must eventually take responsibility to change. So in my eyes, it’s not that you’re leading them into depression. You’re helping them more clearly see how much they need to change or how much the world needs to change to be healthier and more harmonious.
I hope you found this helpful. Thank you again for sharing your experience with us here š I’m in a similar situation much of the time, so please, don’t feel alone with your struggles.
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Hi Manda,
Somtimes we know that there is no specific answer to our questions, but just questioning can make us feel better especially if the other person can understand the question. So thank you š .
Excuse my writing , there may be many faults since English is not my first language.
Usually yes i am alone with these struggles, no one around me experience such a thing, i lost many many friends, but im ok with that, we are not on the same frequency anymore.I can’t stop growing after i have reached this point.
Im not afraid i know i will attract new ones to my life at the right time, right place and right reason.
Sure i will contact you if any, and please feel free to contact me as well.
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It sounds like you’ve reached some level of acceptance with the changes and losses you’ve experienced as a result of awakening. For me, it’s still difficult sometimes not being able to experience relationships with people the way I used to, but I look forward to the day when I make some authentic connections with inspiring, like-minded people. I think it’s important to our well-being that we have those people in our life, but it can be difficult to find them.
Thank you for reaching out. I think we all should speak up more about our challenges to receive the support and encouragement we need sometimes, especially when there is no one around who quite understands. It is true that we must find our way for ourselves, but it’s not necessary that we feel completely isolated and alone in our challenges. Definitely feel free to drop a comment anytime with other questions or insights you might have to offer š
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For 4 years I’ve been struggling with this “awakening”. It just started to happen so suddenly that I thought I was either delusional or possessed. I went as far as going to 3 different religious high entities to ask them to “exorcise” me if I needed to. All three called me modern day mystic. I still did not know what they meant as the word mysticism had a negative notation in my religious vocabulary as a fundamental southern baptist. I was both, scared and perplexed at all the synchronicities in my life along the dreams, visions and constant insights.
I experienced such angst that I honestly believe was the main cause for me to get ovarian cancer. I went through chemo, lost all my hair and lost all my fears! Most events in my daily life if not all of them, now I see they have a purpose and a magical rhythm to it.
I am one of those late bloomers… just turned 55 but inside I feel forever 21 š And lately I act like one too. I love life and I love people. I love nature and I have learned to stop judging.
However, I still live among people who are extremely religious and see my transformation as bizarre and even dangerous. I’ve been praying that I may find “my tribe” but not such thing here down south – in the middle of the Bible Belt.
This morning I was just googling about wether other people were attracting animals like birds, butterflies, squirrels and such… and I came across your blog.
Magical things are still happening and I live in awe of them and I count this one as one of them.
I have a YouTubeChannel if you’d like to meet me š https://youtu.be/cH57rNCxm3E Letgracebewithyou
It’s mostly about my squirrel named Newton and some videos about my experience w cancer.
I guess my prayer of meeting my tribe may have been answered – it may only be in a cyber way for now.
There is so much more about my story but too long to write for now. I am just glad I’m meeting other people like you through the internet.
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Hi Grace š
I so understand your struggle to find a tribe of awakening souls. In my efforts to find others on a similar path, I have not had much success, except for a few wonderful people I’ve communicated with through the internet. Sometimes I wonder if we are meant to spend a lot of this time to ourselves, though, so we can enhance our connection to the ultimate source and our higher self.
Waking up is a beautiful, mysterious challenge. I’m glad to hear that you eventually chose to embrace it. I live in the Bible Belt, as well, so I’m familiar with the judgmental attitudes and limited perspectives of many of the people here. Have you ever heard the quote by Leonardo da Vinci, “I awoke only to find that the rest of the world was still asleep”? That’s how I feel a lot of the time, even though I know there are more of my kindred spirits out there somewhere.
I’m not sure if you are into holistic healthcare, but when you mentioned ovarian cancer, I immediately thought of Dr. David Brownstein and his iodine protocol that has been effective at treating and preventing various forms of cancer.
Thanks for passing along a link to your youtube channel. That is adorable that you have a pet squirrel! I also just visited your personal website and enjoyed your artwork š I agree that painting can be therapeutic when you get into the zone. It’s been a while since I painted anything, but I once enjoyed it quite a bit.
Thank you so much for leaving a comment here and sharing some of your story with us. The last thing I will say is stay alert, because I am sure there are plenty more magical and awe-inspiring things coming your way! š
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Hi. Just curious to know if you are still writing articles? I used to read some of your stuff many times few years back, especially while going trough a dark night.
I am asking this because I also blog about same stuffs and did one for in5d, but dont really know what to do with my writings anymore. There has been some not so known esoteric youtubers as well deleting their channels completely and vanishing! I am kind of thinking the same. š
This is pure curiosity. Thnx.
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Hi there, thanks for reaching out and checking in. I haven’t been writing much at all this past year. My energy and focus have had to shift to other matters as unexpected things have arisen. From August 2017 through September 2018, I ended up spending about six months nursing two of my cats that both died from cancer. I have also felt guided this year to further embrace solitude and enter an even more self-reflective mode.
It seems that there are times when it feels right to share our truths with others and to project some of our energy outwards and other times when it’s best to pull our energy and resources within for a massive healing/growing period. I’m not sure of all the reasons why others have removed their online presence in the recent past, but for me, it’s been important during this part of my journey to focus on my individual expansion.
Once the inspiration returns to share again, I intend to continue writing here. If you’re feeling the urge now to pull away from the online world, I’d certainly encourage you to honor that! I’m a huge supporter of the idea of following feelings and inspirations as we move along on our paths.
Wishing you the best on your journey! āŗ
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Thanks for your comment my dear!
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