Anyone else on the spiritual path been finding it harder to be around crowds of people? This seems like a common symptom of spiritual awakening, but I wonder just how many people out there are trying to cope with this same challenge right now.
I began to notice almost exactly a year ago that being around a lot of strangers drove me a tad crazy. I would be stuck in traffic at a stoplight and feel like I was picking up on everyone’s insecurities, worries, and anxieties. It felt pretty suffocating. Other times, it triggered a sense of sadness within in thinking about how this is not the way people should be feeling on a daily basis. On one of my worst days, I was alone on the beach surrounded by lots of families and tourists who were on vacation. Instead of sensing joy or peace on this beautiful summer day, it seemed like many of the people around me were grouchy and miserable. The energy got so intense that I felt like either pulling my hair out or grabbing all my belongings and running a mile away from those people.
I frequently isolate myself from crowded areas, mostly because I’ve never been a fan of crowds. Prior to awakening, crowds were more like a nuisance. If I needed to go inside a store and saw the parking lot was filled with cars, I would possibly roll my eyes for a second but then carry on with business. I could go sit in a crowded bar with a friend and not be overly bothered by all the people, but I still preferred my alone time, especially in nature. It was my time to enjoy some silence and reflect.
But lately, I’ve begun to notice that crowds can stir up strange emotions in me. Recently I walked into a busy restaurant with my boyfriend to grab some lunch, and I immediately felt extremely uneasy and suffocated while standing in line. There was loud music and a high amount of energy in the room. I tried to tune out everything, but I felt like I was becoming emotional and needed to leave to avoid the awkwardness of ordering food with tears streaming down my face. I told my boyfriend that I needed to step out, so he followed me. My eyes were filling with tears before I could even sit down on the bench outside. I was as confused as my boyfriend was as to why I started to cry. I could not explain it, but I felt so much better once I got out of that environment. The old me might have felt slightly annoyed by all the noises and people, but I know I would have tolerated it just fine.
I’m finding that I have become overly sensitive to such a degree that I can no longer maintain my inner peace everywhere I go. The environment I’m in seems to make a difference. Some public places are fine, even if they are a little crowded. Others stir up all sorts of emotions that I can’t explain. My best comparison that describes how I feel when I enter one of those yucky environments is the icky feeling you would get if you stepped into a dark, murky lake. As soon as you put one foot in, you’re immediately ready to get the hell out because it’s so nasty and uncomfortable.
Lately, I feel so turned off by crowds that I want to get away from living in a city. Living in a small, rural area seems healthier and more tolerable at this point. I have become friends with a woman who has been experiencing issues extremely similar to mine, and she has also grown weary of this area where we live. She is very familiar with chronic fatigue and the inability to be among crowds of people. It makes me wonder if we are being affected to some degree by empath sickness since we are both so deeply affected by the pain and suffering of the world and the city where we live. She is greatly affected by the destruction of trees and the environment, while I feel so much frustration and sadness about the deterioration of human health and our food supply, along with the control systems being exerted onto us.
If you are an empath, I’m sure you know how burdensome it can be to feel more and be more conscious than the average person. Whatever issue bothers you most, it is far from easy to carry the burden of knowing what is happening and caring so much about it while so many others prefer to stay in denial of our problems. This is from an article titled “Physical Symptoms of an Empath“:
The biggest problem is that the Earth is sick and in pain, and under a constant barrage of attack and torture. Those who harm the Earth do not feel her pain, but people with empathic ability bear the burden of being overly sensitive in an insensitive world, and therefore have a hard time living here. You cannot cut off from your feelings, nor can you armor yourself against them, because numbness is not healing and does not make things better (even if it seems blissfully tempting). The physical symptoms of an empath that you experience are a reminder that you are a healer, and that empathy is a healing gift. Receive the divine healing light from your Source above, let it nourish you, fill you and protect you, then send it out to all who need it, including the Earth. And remember to send love and gratitude to the Earth with each and every breath, because she needs it desperately.
Has anyone with sensitivities to energy and suffering found a solution? I don’t think isolation or fleeing from uncomfortable spaces should become a long-term coping strategy, and I don’t like the typical advice people offer about creating a shield around yourself to block energy. I don’t want to absorb yucky or heavy energies so that I become overwhelmed by them, but something tells me that trying to block out and numb myself to everything isn’t the best approach. The way I see it, we are sensitive for a reason. Maybe I will try the strategy mentioned in the article I quoted above the next time I find myself in an uncomfortable environment. If anyone has found a useful tool or strategy to manage energy sensitivity, please share your tips in the comments section. It would be greatly appreciated! Also, let me know how long this has been an issue for you if you can relate to my experiences.